Author: Christiana

Aspiring writer and realist. I just want to show people the world through my eyes.

Your Truth

Everyone has their own truth.

It’s what makes them who they are. It’s how they view the world and who their experiences have made them. You may see God as your saving grace, or you may be a believer in a higher power without the confines of religion. You may see the world in a positive light and see the good in everyone, or you may have issues trusting. No matter your perceptions or beliefs — it is your truth and no one can tell you differently. Your truth is your story and although people may have similar novels, no two stories are the same.

No one can ever fully understand what someone is feeling or what they’ve been through, even if you’ve been in a similar situation yourself. Even if you can, it doesn’t mean it will effect you the same way and that you will have the same approach. I think people have the hardest time understanding that. You can say how you feel and what you would do in a particular circumstance, but ultimately who are you to judge until you’ve walked a mile in that persons shoes? The way you live your life is your truth, and the way other people live their life, is theirs.

You live and you learn and life goes on, whether or not you’re ready to move forward with it. And as time goes on, pieces of the past stick to you — sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Our past, our experiences, shape us into the person that we are. It can make us stronger, or it can break us down depending on how and if we learn to deal with them.

Loss is one of the most painful things human beings encounter. Whether it’s heartbreak, death, or abandonment, losing a loved one is never easy. You lose a part of yourself that you didn’t even know existed until that person is no longer there. People grieve in different ways and there is no wrong way to grieve. No matter how it appears from the outside looking in, that person is hurting and looking for the best way to cope. And sometimes, no amount of support from anyone can help you move forward.

Life is about finding your way, and living your truth. You may not ever truly “find yourself”, because you never stop growing or learning until the day you die. My mother used to always say “You learn something new everyday.” The older I get, the more truth in this I see, no matter how minor. What you learn and gain from life’s experiences are not the same as others. Don’t pass judgment, don’t disrespect someone because you can’t comprehend why they feel how they feel. If you can’t help, don’t hurt them, they’re probably going through worse than you think.

Everyone has their own truth; live yours, and let others have their time.

Copyright 2016 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 1

Life’s Lessons

Why give up on your dreams? No one successful has ever made it to the top without hearing a hundred no’s along the way.

Why listen to those who say you can’t, when only YOU have the power to set the bar?

Nothing in life comes easy, yet people seem to want all the reward without putting forth any of the effort. The idea that things will fall into your lap, is just that- an idea. The idea of waiting for the right time is just a fantasy. There is never really going to be a right time for anything. The time will be right when you finally decide to make your move. You have to go out and get the things you want or you’ll be waiting forever for it to happen.

Nothing great comes to fruition without dedication and effort. People spend more time and effort planning a wedding than they do in their actual marriage. So many people are in love with the idea of marriage without realizing what it actually entails. Relationships are a full time job, regardless of how far along you are with that person. Once you pass the honeymoon stage, reality sets in and it’s no longer about how much you like or love the person, but the amount of work you are willing to put in. It’s so simple to give up, to walk away. You move on to the next person and the cycle continues. Fictitious books and movies have led people to look for a fairytale. A happy ending. No relationship will ever be perfect and neither will any individual. If you give up at the first sign of trouble that person is not meant for you. Because if you want something bad enough you’ll do anything to keep it, and if you love someone deep enough you’ll do anything not to lose them. Anything worth fighting over, is worth fighting for.

Destiny cannot be foreseen, but you do have the ability to control the now. So why give up?

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0

Lost Chronicles

It’s so easy to get lost in this world. To be consumed by the material things and to let life’s troubles eat you alive. To lose yourself because you feel as though you’ve given so much to one person, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be yourself. Love is unrequited. It’s patient, kind, doesn’t boast and it isn’t proud. It’s everything in this world and without it we would have nothing.

Love begins with family, the love from our parents, our siblings, aunts, cousins and even those who we’ve come to accept as family. That is the foundation for how we see ourselves and how we learn to love other people. With each relationship that transpires we learn lessons, but we also bring baggage, hurt, a newfound understanding of the person we want to be with. It’s not always easy to forget the past. To forget the hurt, or the infidelities or things we’ve done. We get defensive and closed off. Not wanting to love fully. Not wanting to open up to one person fully. For fear of being hurt or taken advantage of. Hurting them before they can hurt you. Leaving them before they have the chance to leave you. Self sabotaging so that you expedite “the inevitable”. Because YOU are the most important person to you, so you have to look out for yourself because no one’s got you like you got you…right?

Or are you just creating self fulfilling prophecies? Are you just overthinking and creating scenarios that don’t really exist? Are you missing out on what could be something amazing, maybe the best you’ve ever experienced, because you’re scared? Afraid to love again, to trust again, to be happy again. To work hard and fight instead of taking the easy route. Leaving is easy, staying is the hard part.

You can get lost without you even realizing it and it’s so simple to just accept it, to let it happen and continue down the rabbit hole. Finding your way back is a roller coaster ride, a maze that seems to never end. But once you’ve looked deep inside yourself, you see a true reflection of your soul. You see things more clearly and learn that you are not perfect, and learn to accept all your flaws. Take every experience as a lesson and a piece to the puzzle. Learn that everyone will lose who they are, before finding out who they are truly meant to be. And each time you come back a much stronger, wiser and even better version of yourself.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0

Black Lives Still Matter

Black is beautiful
Love the skin you’re in
Do not try to change your appearances to conform to the majority
Who says that lighter skin is better?
Why do you listen to them?
Embrace the melanin you’ve been blessed with, regardless of how much or how little
Black is beautiful
In all shades and sizes
Why cause damage to your skin by bleaching?
Embrace the body you’ve been blessed with
Your full lips, wider nose, and curvaceous physique
All the physical attributes that make you unique do not define you as a person
Processed, natural, long or short hair
Choose your style based on your preferences, not what the majority wants to see
Not what they lead you to believe you must do, to be considered beautiful
Date who you wish, regardless of ethnicity
If someone can’t except ALL of you, they don’t deserve any part of you
Live out your dreams, and never accept no for an answer
Our fight to the finish might be harder to reach than others,
But do not be discouraged
Use the hate and doubt as determination
Continue to excel and let’s build a future that our ancestors would be proud of
We cannot change that which we do not control,
But we can persevere and come out on top
Black is beautiful
We are all human beings, one in the same
Accept your roots, and most importantly love yourself

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0

That 4 Letter Word

When I fall, I fall hard, and I love even harder…

Love is simple and complicated all in the same respect. It’s so simple to fall for someone. Falling in love is the easy part, everything else that surrounds that is what becomes complicated. Falling for someone who may not feel the same or is emotionally unavailable, is what makes it difficult. When the honeymoon stage starts to pass and the bliss has died down, that’s what makes it hard. You start to see the person for who they truly are, flaws and all. Start to recognize each other’s differences. Relationships are a full time job, you invest your time, feelings and even money into someone else, in hopes that in the end it will have been well spent. The issue lies when loyalty comes into question, when people commit to someone before they’re ready, when people rather give up than make their relationship work. Falling in love is easy, working it out is the challenge.
Relationships shouldn’t be 50/50, because they don’t hold a numerical value. Everyone loves differently and how they express their feelings varies. As long as you’re putting your best foot forward, giving it 100 percent, that’s really all that matters. If things don’t work out, at least you can walk away saying you were the best significant other you could possibly be.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” How can you ever really know if it was meant to be? Do you wait for a sign? We are all on that quest for “The one”. The person who is our better half and who we can see a future with. What if that person has been there all along and you have no idea? You never really know, you just have to go with the flow and trust your instincts.
Love is tricky. You make yourself vulnerable, allowing someone to have a part of you that’s sacred, physically and emotionally. It’s not always easy committing to someone because of that apprehension, that fear of getting hurt again, the thought of starting all over with someone new. But when you do give it a chance, allow someone in, it can be one of the best feelings in the world. Love is a gamble, a chance you take, but having someone to confide in, build with, and create memories with can make it all worthwhile.
One of the most important things to remember is to never lose yourself. Never forget who you were before you were with that person, never conform to their standards just to make them happy, and never settle for less than what you deserve. Know your worth. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. How can someone fully appreciate you, if you cannot see the beauty that lies within?
Change is inevitable. People change such as the seasons do and both you and your partner will grow and evolve together. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. People grow apart and some grow closer as time passes, that’s life. Just don’t lose sight of you, your goals, and your dreams to be with that one person.
Compromise-the magic word. People are individuals and you are not always going to see eye to eye with the person you are with. Relationships are meant to be a partnership, not a dictatorship and communication is key. Try to see what the person is saying from their perspective, would you be upset if you’re significant other said that to you? Would you have reacted the same way they did? Pick and choose your battles. It’s not always worth the fight and winning an argument shouldn’t mean the end of a relationship.
Pride gets in the way of so many things. It will keep you from expressing how you truly feel about someone, until it is too late and someone else has already taken your place. It will keep you from admitting fault, even if you know you’re the one in the wrong. It can even make you lose someone because you weren’t willing to make that compromise, or be the bigger person. Pride costs nothing but it CAN cost you everything. Don’t let it.
That four letter word called love. Something so simplistic yet complex. An oxymoron within itself. Yet something we’ve come to understand as a necessity. There is no right or wrong way to love. Support one another, compromise, and put your pride aside. Make it your mission to make each other happy without losing sight of yourselves as individuals.

LOVE

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0