Author: Christiana

Aspiring writer and realist. I just want to show people the world through my eyes.

The Best/Worst Night of My Life

Quickly looking left then right, she slowly makes her way across the street. Her breath visible in the cold night air as she tries to keep her breathing steady. She makes her way to the black, unmarked vehicle and gets in the passenger seat where the driver awaits…

Christie sits alone in her bedroom, headphones blaring, listening to music on her iPod. She sneaks a glance at the calendar on the wall and sighs. An “X” marks the current date as September 28th. Checking her phone for the umpteenth time that night, her heart begins to race when she sees an unread message. Anxiety turns to apprehension when she sees it is from an anonymous number and inhales sharply. The text reads “Meet me outside in five minutes”.
The time stamp of the message read 12:55 AM and it was now 12:57. Taking a deep breath as to not panic, Christie slowly tiptoes her way across the hall to her parents’ bedroom. Opening the door slightly, she pokes her head into the crack. Both parents were fast asleep. Slowly closing the bedroom door, she makes her way back to her room. As quickly as her nerves will allow, she throws on a black hoodie and sneakers, and arranges pillows on her bed to make it look as though someone is sleeping under the covers. Locking her bedroom door, she hesitates before grabbing her phone and climbing out the window.
Cutting across her backyard, she quickly looks left then right and slowly makes her way across the street as to not look suspicious. She can see her breath in the cold night air as she tries to keep her breathing steady. She then makes her way to the black, unmarked vehicle and gets in the passenger seat where her driver awaits.
Once inside, she hears a click. All the doors have been locked automatically. As soon as she is seated, she can see the driver is a man wearing a black ski mask, and black hoodie. Before Christie can react to anything, the man slowly begins to pull something from his pants pocket. He stops halfway and puts an index finger to his lips as to indicate the need for her silence. Hyperventilating, she shuts her eyes as tears stream down her face.
Christie still has her eyes shut when she feels something cold and rough on her eyes and being tied behind her head. A blindfold. She then feels a seatbelt being put over her body. Now shivering, she has barely noticed that the car has started and is now moving. With each turn, Christie clutches her seat more tightly than the last. Her knuckles turning white, and her hands becoming numb. The car comes to a sudden stop. The engine is shut off. Christie’s breathing once again picks up pace.
The driver gets out of the car and walks over to the passenger’s side opening the door for her. Unbuckling Christie’s seatbelt, he guides her out of the car gently. Still breathing rapidly, Christie feels herself being guided with a hand on her back. A door slams shut behind them. The driver removes the blindfold and but not before ensuring she will remain quiet and not try to run. Taking a look around she can see that they are in what looks like an abandoned warehouse. Slowly removing his gloves, one finger at a time, the man then removes his hood and lastly his ski mask. Christie gasps and claps her hand over her mouth.
He then reaches into his pocket and removes a small black box. As the look of shock slowly subsides from Christie’s face, it is replaced with a look of confusion. As slowly and swiftly as the man pulled out the black box, he then drops down to one knee and opens it. She gasps as the box reveals a ten carat diamond ring.
A smile creeps onto Christie’s face and before the man can say anything she leaps into his arms as he stands to embrace her. He places the ring on her finger and pulls out his phone with the calendar app open. On the date marked September 28th, there is a note that reads, “Happy Anniversary Love”.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 1

Perception

Perception is everything.
The way you perceive the world around you is completely different from the next. Why is that first impressions are everything? How can you judge someone solely on the first few minutes you’ve spent with them?
Perception.
The reason some people view the world in black and white, and some in color. It always amazes me when I speak with different people and I hear their views on things. Being an open minded individual means staying true to your beliefs, but being open to hearing other people’s perspectives. That doesn’t mean changing who you are, or even agreeing with them. It just means being able to have intriguing conversations and intellectual debates. It also doesn’t mean that you must always touch on the subject. I think sometimes people forget that. They think if someone doesn’t have the same mindset, same values, they must argue their defense and try and force the other person to feel the same way. If there’s one thing I’ve learned is that ignorance is all around us, and we as human beings are all ignorant on one level or another. Controversial topics and subjects that hit close to home are always going to yield conflicting opinions. It’s not always worth the debate and often times it will leave you feeling more upset than anything. Perception.
Nature vs. Nurture. Do we truly have the power to change who we are based on our surroundings? Our experiences? Or do we already posses all the qualities we are meant to have the minute we are born? I think both play a part. You are who, and what you surround yourself with. Your friends, family, and the people that surround you everyday at work or school, all affect you.
Perception.
Optimism vs. Pessimism. Is the glass half empty or half full? Does every year just bring you closer to death or are you celebrating another year of life? Was it a bad experience or lesson learned?
Perception.
The difference between he said, she said, and the truth. What separates different kinds of artists and how they portray their talent to the world. What differentiates the dreamers and the go getters. The procrastinators from the hard workers.
Perception can alter the facts. Let a murderer walk free. Let an abuser continue to victimize. Let a child be placed in the care of the incompetent.
Perception can turn turn a joke into a cruel statement, or a tragic experience into a blessing. Turn someone from a friend to a foe, or a best friend into a lover.
Perception in a way is flawed logic, and to each its own. How you perceive yourself is how others will perceive you. Only you have the power to change your views, broaden your horizons and live life the way you choose to.
What’s your perception?

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0

Missing Piece

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, searching for an answer. Looking up at the clock, she sighs. She is definitely going to be late if she doesn’t leave in the next 30 mins. In the shower she can’t help but feel that gnawing sensation, like a heavy weight on her shoulders. It’s been eating at her for the past 2 weeks and making her feel as though she’s going insane. Slipping into her white evening gown she thinks about her speech once more. Having rewrote and practiced it so many times, she could practically recite it in her sleep. That’s if she’d actually been able to get any. The past few nights consisted of cold sweats and staring at the ceiling for hours on end. She chalked it up to nerves but deep down she knew it had to be something more. Taking a deep breath, she puts the finishing touches on her hair thinking aloud to herself, “Stay positive, this is your night.” Grabbing her keys and wristlet, she is about to head out the door when something stops her.
That gnawing feeling returns and she yells “Please, just leave me alone!” Her voice resonates through the walls of the empty house. Taking a step towards the front door, she notices something flicker from the corner of her eye. She gasps as the very thing she’d been hoping to avoid all night appears before her.
“You won’t get rid of me that easily, but you knew that already.” A sinister smile forms on the pale shimmering figure of a woman bearing a striking resemblance. Ava takes a step back as tears begin to roll down her cheeks. She shuts her eyes and she reopens them to find the ghostly figure has vanished.
In the limo she uses all willpower to try and focus on her speech, and is relieved when the limo finally pulls up to the venue. Ava forces a smile as she stops for photos and people congratulate her. Sneaking a glance at her phone, she breathes a sigh of relief. 15 minutes to spare before she must go on stage in front of thousands of people. That also meant she had 15 minutes to get her bearings and look as though she had not just seen a ghost.
Making her way to the bathroom, she bumps into her manager. “Ava you’ve got to be on stage soon, where are you going?” So much for trying to be discreet, she thinks. “I just need to make a quick phone call.” Before Ashley could try and talk her out of it, she makes a beeline for the door marked ‘Ladies Room’, grateful that’s it vacant. She gazes in the mirror and stifles a scream. The ghostly woman stands behind her.
Ava’s fear slowly turns to anger, enough was enough. “What do you want from me?” Meant to sound bitter and harsh, it comes out as barely a whisper. “I’m here to show you what you’ve been missing”, the woman responds. Everything goes dark and Ava is being transported through a different space and time. Trying to catch her breath, she looks around to see she is now in a hospital room staring at a woman holding two twin newborn girls. The woman is telling the doctor the names she’d like to have put on the birth certificate- Ava and Nevaeh.
The ground shifts and she is once again transported. Familiarity surrounds her as Ava is now in the house she grew up in. She can hear her parents voices solemnly speaking in the living room. She catches bits and pieces as she gets closer until she can hear the words clear as day, “Why did she have to die? Why couldn’t I be playing with both my baby girls right now?” She sobs into her husbands shoulder.
Ava is transported once more and she finds herself in a field filled with daisies. Confusion, sadness and millions of thoughts fill her. “My whole life, I’ve always felt like something was missing and I could never figure out what or why.” She turns to her twin. “Why now? I mean why present yourself at this point in my life when everything is going so well?” Nevaeh stares straight ahead but her expression remains passive. “It’s time for me to move on, I’ve been stuck in this in-between place for 25 years. There was this overwhelming desire to stay connected to you, see you grow up and accomplish your dreams. Now I can go in peace knowing you’ll be ok, but I couldn’t go without letting you know who I am. I’m so proud of you. And don’t be angry at mom and dad, they just wanted to protect you. You’ll continue to do great, I know you will. I love you sis.” Ava turns to speak but Nevaeh is no longer there.
She looks around to see that she is back in the restroom. She takes a deep breath and it’s as though the heavy weight on her shoulders has been lifted. She smiles as she takes one last look in the mirror. She no longer needs the speech she’s spent months trying to prepare, trying to find the right words to describe the puzzle that has become her life, she now has all the inspiration she needs to speak from the heart.
She has found the missing piece.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0

Blank Page

Staring at this blank page, there are so many things I want to say, so much on my mind. My thoughts always seem to be running a marathon in my head.
I overthink everything and underestimate nothing.
Life comes at you fast, you just never know what could come of it.
I look back to 2 years ago and see how much I’ve changed, how much I’ve grown. Because the only constant in life is change. It’s funny isn’t it? When we’re kids all we want is to be adults and vice versa. When you’re 18 you think you know it all. You’re legally an adult so you must know all the world has to offer. It’s actually just the beginning. It’s when you really start to see the world, the real world. So many opportunities that await and so many people left to meet. The older you get, the more you realize how life is short, life is unfair and life is what you make it. You’ll lose people that you love without any good reason, sometimes without closure. You’ll always wonder why, or what if, or why me? They’ll always be better, always be more, but you have to love yourself and appreciate the things and people that are in your life now.
If there was one thing you could go back and change what would it be? I bet a major life changing event, loss, or regret comes to mind. We all wish we could change something about our past, fix that mistake we made, trade places with that loved one. I know I sure do, just being able to say goodbye, say I love you too…instead of the careless reaction of that last moment. What I wouldn’t give to have that. Man I’d give ANYTHING.
The truth is, our experiences make us who we are but it damn sure doesn’t make it hurt any less, make you miss the person any less, make you wonder why you didn’t cherish the time you had with them when you had the chance.
Life is funny, the way things work themselves out. The way things will happen and have you questioning your faith because you can’t fathom why it had to happen, and in the same sense some things can have you thanking God because it’s so unbelievable. What is life about really?

Love. Such a powerful entity. Something that has the power to uplift and break you down all in one. Something so amazing yet so scary.

Heartbreak. Anyone who’s experienced true heartbreak knows how painful it can be. It will make you question whether you ever want to love again. It will affect you in more ways than one, give you a different outlook on life, a new perspective.

Money. Because it makes the world go round right? You work your whole life to achieve stability and may even have to put your dreams on hold just to make a decent living.

Family and friends. They say blood is thicker than water and truth be told sometimes nobody has your back like family. Sometimes family is all someone has, all they know. And sometimes, friends can be more of a family to you than your own flesh and blood, can hold hold you down like no other.

Life…interesting isn’t it? So many lessons learned, yet so many things left to figure out. Even when you think you’ve got it all figured out, life will throw you a curveball and make you question everything all over again. Then you look back and see what those curveballs have shown you. How they have helped you to grow and how you wouldn’t be where you are today without them.
Staring at this page, I see it is no longer blank. Guess I’ve said all I’ve had to say, for now.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 0

Revelations

The eyes are the windows to the soul
The true representation of ones self
The ability to see someone for who they are, beyond the physical

The sound of a girls’ cry can be heard in the distance. From afar all she can see is a small skeletal frame, huddled in a corner. Unable to walk away from such a disheartening sight she approaches the little girl. “Are you okay?” The girl looks up but says nothing. Upon closer observation she can see the girl can be no older than 7 or 8. “Where are your parents?” The girl stares blankly at her, maintaining her silence. Her face is stained with tears and her hair matted. Her clothes look as though they’ve had their fair share of use and her feet are bare and caked with dirt. Growing impatient she tries once more to connect with the big brown eyes staring back at her, “My name is Anabelle, what’s yours?”

The girl says nothing and lays her head between her knees, her back against the wall of the abandoned building facing the river. Anabelle sighs and looks up to the sky. The dark clouds and heavy overcast seem to correlate with her overall mood. She plops down next to the girl, careful to not sit too close for fear she’ll run away. A chill runs through Annabelle despite the warm August day. It’s almost as though she’s met this girl in a past life, she feels a connection to her, almost like a gravitational pull. “Are you hungry?” Met with silence, she removes a bottle of water and sandwich from her bag and offers it to the girl. Without hesitation, the young girl diminishes the goods almost as quickly as it was handed to her. Trying to hide her sympathy, she stares out onto to the river. She turns to find those brown sad eyes looking up at her, saying thank you. Nodding her head in acknowledgment, she turns back to the river as to not stare.

She’d never seen or met this girl before today, before this moment, but she couldn’t fight the compelling desire to speak about her innermost feelings. “It feels like my life is at a standstill, there’s all this pressure to be something I’m not. To conform to everyone else’s standards and ideals when I already have values of my own.” The little girl inches closer to her but does not speak. “I want to live a life that is my own, one that is not dependent upon my surroundings and situations, one where I determine my future. I lost someone a while back…and I’ve never come to terms with it, never knew what to do with those feelings. I’ve felt lost ever since and came here in hopes of finding some answers, maybe even closure. The problem is I have no idea what I am searching for and feel more out of touch with reality than ever.” The little girl reaches out, her small delicate hand touching Anabelle’s face. Their eyes meet and Anabelle notices that the girls’ eyes have transitioned from what seemed like a sad dark brown, to a compassionate and empathetic hazel gray. Without uttering a sound, the girls’ eyes seemed to say, “I understand, I can see right through you.”

Before long, Anabelle is no longer staring at a pair of eyes, but at a younger version of herself. Somehow the scenery has transformed and she has been brought back to the past. She watches the visual movie reel as her life flashes before her eyes. All the hard times, the painful memories. It stops in an instant and everything is still. She is now staring at the one she lost, the reason she has been on a journey to find answers. Having dreamt of this day for so long, she wants nothing more than to hug them, to say everything she’d never had the opportunity to. But instead she is speechless. She is about to mutter “I love you”, but as soon as she opens her mouth to speak, they vanish. Instead she is brought back to the present and she is staring once again into the eyes of the young girl. Except now the young girl has changed her appearance, she almost looks like…Anabelle.

She closes her eyes and the realization hits her as clear as day. The answers she has been seeking, the person she wishes to find, is the one that lives within. She opens her eyes. There, along the river, are a bed of lilacs- a favorite of the one she’s lost. She looks up to see the clouds have given way to a bright sunshine and align in the shape of a heart. She can see the faint distinction of the words, “I love you too” written in the middle.

She smiles, for the one she longs for, the one she misses, remains engraved in her heart. Anabelle turns to say bye to the little girl, only to find she has vanished.

She is no longer the girl that once was.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Posted on by Christiana 1