Mother’s Day 2018

They say that time heals all…
So why is it that after every turn I hit a brick wall?
Every time that I’m about to reach the finish line I stall…
Because how can I possibly walk when I can barely crawl?
The more time that passes the more I feel like I’m going to explode
The more I think of your memories, the bigger the burden, the heavier the load.
The more and more I wish I could hug you everyday and tell you how much I love you so.
The more I wish I could run away…as long as I have you by my side I’m good to go.
So many questions unasked, so many things left unsaid
I miss you so much it hurts, I’d almost rather be dead.
A heart bigger than anyone I know-
I couldn’t understand it then, but now more than ever, I see your legacy continues to grow
But see the older I get the more I feel that I’ve reached an all time low
I’ve had people tell me to “Get over it.”- but they’ve never had a parent leave at 12 years old to protect them… so what the _____ do they know?
I’ve thought so many times about what I’d say if I ever saw you again,
And I feel if I never get the opportunity to- my heart may never be able to mend.
The root of who I am is you
And I think that from the moment you pushed me out- you realized it too.
So many milestones I wished we could’ve shared
Some impossible to celebrate because I just couldn’t bear
I remember my 13th birthday like it was yesterday… man life just ain’t fair.
I question if I can ever again be whole
How can I ever really be myself if I can’t even play the role?
I want more than anything to be at peace,
And for you to know that my love and admiration for you will never cease.
I will never stop searching for you until the day we reunite
Because whether it’s on earth or in heaven I won’t give up without a fight.
Mon coeur,
Mon âme,
Mon amour,
Until we meet again I just want to say,
Je t’aime maman and Happy Mother’s Day
Forever in my heart and in my prayers will you stay.


Copyright 2018 Christiana Parisien

Pretty Hurts

Pretty Hurts…
Females are subjected to criticism and body image before they even hit puberty
Girls must be slim but not too thick or too skinny
Makeup is considered a necessity
Skin bleaching or tanning is considered the norm
I Am Not My Hair…
Blondes have more fun
Straight hair is better than natural, and weave is a must
Reveal too much skin and be open about your sexuality,
and you‘re promiscuous
Dress conservatively and remain celibate,
and you‘re a prude
Reveal your animosity about rape or sexual discrimination,
you’re a feminist
Sex sells and females are sexually exploited though the media,
but they preach that women should value their bodies
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep…
Intelligence is associated with lack of good looks,
and if a woman is smart and “pretty”, she is considered a rare breed
A woman must choose between her career and motherhood,
because she cannot be good at one job, without failing at another
If a girl is made a mother before she is ready,
she is criticized regardless of the decision she makes,
even though it is her life, her body
She must act like a lady, and think like a man
She must always maintain a perfect appearance
She must not make herself too available, too easy,
but she must not let a man wait too long otherwise she will lose him
She must abide by the double standard or be judged by society
Women who have high standards are too high maintenance,
and must learn to settle for whatever or whoever life gives them
Women are weak and feebleminded,
too emotionally unstable to make rational decisions
Not enough positivity associated with a females’ persona,
and too much prominence on her figure
Yielding women to be more obsessed with what they see in the mirror,
than the beauty in their intellect
Wanting men to stimulate their sexual desires,
without allowing them to first stimulate their mind
Women,
when will we come to see,
inside and out we are as beautiful as can be
Don’t let this world consume you,
be who you are and you’ll love the person it molds you into


Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien