Black is Beautiful

Racism- prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.

Racism is something that is taught. It is not something that is innate. We are not born with the ability to see color or to judge those who do not share the same culture, or that do not look like us.

Racism in itself is a huge epidemic all over the world, particularly in America. We all know this to be true, whether we choose to admit it or not. But what about bias? The division within our own communities? Our OWN race?

POC come in all different shades, sizes, and nationalities. I choose to use the term POC instead of minority, because well for one I never liked that term. Why must we be the MINORITY? Why should we be grouped into a category where the word in itself has a negative connotation?

I am a POC and proud to be. I embrace every opportunity to celebrate my race and culture, and jump at any opportunity to ignite the inner activist in me.

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me— “You don’t look Haitian”, “I thought you were Hispanic”, “Are you sure you’re not mixed?”, or “Are both your parents Black?”, I would be living on my own private island right now, away from this joke we call a country, and blasphemy we must accept as president; sipping on something dark of course.

They say ignorance is bliss but I disagree. What does being Haitian look like? What are the guidelines I should follow and what are the qualifications I should uphold in order for me to prove myself to you? Why should I have to prove myself to…anyone?

If I sound annoyed, it’s because I am. Imagine hearing your entire life that you’re too light skinned, that you have that “white people hair” and being bombarded with the same questions over and over again. Constantly having to prove that your Black is good enough. That YOU are enough.

As crazy as it may seem, I find myself giving in to those questions. Even worse, questioning my own identity. Wishing I was darker skinned. Wishing my curls were more of a 4c instead of whatever it is now. Contemplating starting a conversation with a stranger and risk spending 10 minutes discussing nationality. Admiring those who have those “defining features” that I do not.

Some might say, well don’t answer their questions. Some might think, your Black is beautiful just the way you are. And some, well some might just say who cares? From my experience … EVERYONE. It’s easy to say don’t answer their questions, but even the most evasive answers only leads to more questions, more doubt. It’s easy to say— just embrace your Blackness, without thinking of the power of words and the effect of repetition. It’s probably easiest to say who cares, when in actuality everyone seems to make it a point to.

So yes, I love me and I wouldn’t change me for the world. I love my people more than anyone can imagine and couldn’t imagine a world without our ideals, our foods, our languages, our music, so on and so forth.

But at the end of the day, in the eyes of the oppressor, we are all one in the same. We all feel the hurt when we lose one of our own due to social injustice. We all feel the anger when still, in the year 2018 eyes follow us throughout the store. When we are arrested because to them— all Blacks fit the same description. When one of us is locked up due to the smallest amount of weed, while our counterparts continue to walk away Scott Free with bigger drug possessions, rape and murder charges. Incarceration IS modern day slavery— stay woke.

I say all of this to say…

You can ask me where I’m from, without casting doubt.

You can comment on my hair without referring to it as “good hair” (there is no such thing as good or bad hair), or “white people hair” (Pretty sure they wouldn’t know what to do with my hair).

I know I’m light skinned— lighter than most— there’s no need to point out the obvious.

Most importantly recognize that we are all individuals who share the same race and culture.

We have enough riding on us, we don’t need to put added pressure on ourselves and each other.

Let’s show others that we are more than our looks, and that we stand united.

And let’s show each other that, for POC it’s not our features that define us, but what lies beneath.

Black is beautiful in all shapes, shades, and sizes; so let’s show the world our Black girl magic and our Black boy joy.


Copyright 2018 Christiana Parisien

The Happiness Trap

Where do I begin? When does it end? Endless hurt and heartbreak I’m so far gone, my heart may never be able to mend.
I have a huge heart when it comes to those that I love
And when they abandon me I start to question the Lord up above
I know I’m not perfect, and I’m constantly trying to do better, to be better
But tears threaten to fall, as my thoughts come to life in this letter
You see I want nothing more than to be the woman I’m destined to be
I’ve been through hell and back and have overcome so many adversities
I look in the mirror and see a beautiful, intelligent, overachiever
Someone who doesn’t see failure as an option, a true believer
In all things positive when things are going well
But as soon as things hit rock bottom I feel trapped, as if stuck in a solitary confinement cell
My image becomes distorted and my past comes back to haunt me
It all goes back to that one faithful day you see
All I can think is mommy where’d you go, I thought we had a special connection…didn’t we?
Dad you weren’t around what can I say?
It’s been too long, so much was left unsaid – I had no choice but to keep you at bay
Now when I search for answers I’m always lost
When I try to figure things out, it’s always too late, never without a cost
Never without losing the ones I love and care for so much
Me myself and I, is who I can depend on I’ve learned to be my own crutch
I know all my strengths and my weaknesses I embrace
Only I have the power to change the things I don’t like, and my faults I must face
Life is a never ending journey and I’m in the drivers seat
With each accident along the way a part of me is lost, and all I’m left with is defeat
Never made completely whole again, never fully recovered
Only a small part of me discovered
The rest of me left uncovered
It always comes back the same
My thoughts threatening to drive me insane
Why can’t I figure it out, what’s wrong with me?
All I want is to be happy, to be set free
From all my demons of the past and to make peace internally
But still I drive and continue on life’s highway
Praying that each passing mile doesn’t lead me further astray
With no map, no guidance all I can do is take it day by day
Building my strength as I go, maybe eventually…I’ll learn to be okay.


Copyright 2016 Christiana Parisien

Life’s Lessons

Why give up on your dreams? No one successful has ever made it to the top without hearing a hundred no’s along the way.

Why listen to those who say you can’t, when only YOU have the power to set the bar?

Nothing in life comes easy, yet people seem to want all the reward without putting forth any of the effort. The idea that things will fall into your lap, is just that- an idea. The idea of waiting for the right time is just a fantasy. There is never really going to be a right time for anything. The time will be right when you finally decide to make your move. You have to go out and get the things you want or you’ll be waiting forever for it to happen.

Nothing great comes to fruition without dedication and effort. People spend more time and effort planning a wedding than they do in their actual marriage. So many people are in love with the idea of marriage without realizing what it actually entails. Relationships are a full time job, regardless of how far along you are with that person. Once you pass the honeymoon stage, reality sets in and it’s no longer about how much you like or love the person, but the amount of work you are willing to put in. It’s so simple to give up, to walk away. You move on to the next person and the cycle continues. Fictitious books and movies have led people to look for a fairytale. A happy ending. No relationship will ever be perfect and neither will any individual. If you give up at the first sign of trouble that person is not meant for you. Because if you want something bad enough you’ll do anything to keep it, and if you love someone deep enough you’ll do anything not to lose them. Anything worth fighting over, is worth fighting for.

Destiny cannot be foreseen, but you do have the ability to control the now. So why give up?


Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

Ferguson

Eyes follow him as he walks throughout the store
Shots fired as he reaches for the candy in his pocket
Gunned down before he even makes it to the alter
Killed even though he had his hands up in surrender
In the land of the “free”,
civil rights are revoked and justice turns the other cheek
Those that are meant to protect and serve,
instead contribute to lives lost
Pulling the trigger first and asking questions later
Not stopping to think of that person as a human being,
as someone’s son, brother, husband or friend
While they go home and enjoy the luxury of tucking in their kids at night,
someone’s family is planning a funeral
Someone’s world has been shattered into pieces and turned upside down
Black, White, Hispanic or Asian
No one deserves to die
People end up in the wrong place, at the wrong time
People make mistakes, make bad decisions
But only God can judge us.
only he has the right to determine who remains on this earth
It’s not an issue of Black and White some say,
because people want to pretend that racism no longer exists
That because movements have taken place, and laws have been enforced,
stereotypes don’t exist and racial profiling is unheard of
But even though we’ve come so far,
in the year 2014 it is still prevalent.
This is the beginning of a revolution, a war
And the people say no more
I am tired
They are tired
WE are tired
In the land of the free,
people have the privilege of defending their 15th amendment rights
And so it begins
And for those who say it is pointless. It is only temporary, or that it won’t make a difference…
We understand your lack of courage and pity your ignorance
If you do not stand for something,
You will fall for anything
So why not stand up for what’s right?
Before falling for what you know is wrong


Copyright 2014 Christiana Parisien