Tag: life

Life’s Lessons

Why give up on your dreams? No one successful has ever made it to the top without hearing a hundred no’s along the way.

Why listen to those who say you can’t, when only YOU have the power to set the bar?

Nothing in life comes easy, yet people seem to want all the reward without putting forth any of the effort. The idea that things will fall into your lap, is just that- an idea. The idea of waiting for the right time is just a fantasy. There is never really going to be a right time for anything. The time will be right when you finally decide to make your move. You have to go out and get the things you want or you’ll be waiting forever for it to happen.

Nothing great comes to fruition without dedication and effort. People spend more time and effort planning a wedding than they do in their actual marriage. So many people are in love with the idea of marriage without realizing what it actually entails. Relationships are a full time job, regardless of how far along you are with that person. Once you pass the honeymoon stage, reality sets in and it’s no longer about how much you like or love the person, but the amount of work you are willing to put in. It’s so simple to give up, to walk away. You move on to the next person and the cycle continues. Fictitious books and movies have led people to look for a fairytale. A happy ending. No relationship will ever be perfect and neither will any individual. If you give up at the first sign of trouble that person is not meant for you. Because if you want something bad enough you’ll do anything to keep it, and if you love someone deep enough you’ll do anything not to lose them. Anything worth fighting over, is worth fighting for.

Destiny cannot be foreseen, but you do have the ability to control the now. So why give up?

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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Lost Chronicles

It’s so easy to get lost in this world. To be consumed by the material things and to let life’s troubles eat you alive. To lose yourself because you feel as though you’ve given so much to one person, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be yourself. Love is unrequited. It’s patient, kind, doesn’t boast and it isn’t proud. It’s everything in this world and without it we would have nothing.

Love begins with family, the love from our parents, our siblings, aunts, cousins and even those who we’ve come to accept as family. That is the foundation for how we see ourselves and how we learn to love other people. With each relationship that transpires we learn lessons, but we also bring baggage, hurt, a newfound understanding of the person we want to be with. It’s not always easy to forget the past. To forget the hurt, or the infidelities or things we’ve done. We get defensive and closed off. Not wanting to love fully. Not wanting to open up to one person fully. For fear of being hurt or taken advantage of. Hurting them before they can hurt you. Leaving them before they have the chance to leave you. Self sabotaging so that you expedite “the inevitable”. Because YOU are the most important person to you, so you have to look out for yourself because no one’s got you like you got you…right?

Or are you just creating self fulfilling prophecies? Are you just overthinking and creating scenarios that don’t really exist? Are you missing out on what could be something amazing, maybe the best you’ve ever experienced, because you’re scared? Afraid to love again, to trust again, to be happy again. To work hard and fight instead of taking the easy route. Leaving is easy, staying is the hard part.

You can get lost without you even realizing it and it’s so simple to just accept it, to let it happen and continue down the rabbit hole. Finding your way back is a roller coaster ride, a maze that seems to never end. But once you’ve looked deep inside yourself, you see a true reflection of your soul. You see things more clearly and learn that you are not perfect, and learn to accept all your flaws. Take every experience as a lesson and a piece to the puzzle. Learn that everyone will lose who they are, before finding out who they are truly meant to be. And each time you come back a much stronger, wiser and even better version of yourself.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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That 4 Letter Word

When I fall, I fall hard, and I love even harder…

Love is simple and complicated all in the same respect. It’s so simple to fall for someone. Falling in love is the easy part, everything else that surrounds that is what becomes complicated. Falling for someone who may not feel the same or is emotionally unavailable, is what makes it difficult. When the honeymoon stage starts to pass and the bliss has died down, that’s what makes it hard. You start to see the person for who they truly are, flaws and all. Start to recognize each other’s differences. Relationships are a full time job, you invest your time, feelings and even money into someone else, in hopes that in the end it will have been well spent. The issue lies when loyalty comes into question, when people commit to someone before they’re ready, when people rather give up than make their relationship work. Falling in love is easy, working it out is the challenge.
Relationships shouldn’t be 50/50, because they don’t hold a numerical value. Everyone loves differently and how they express their feelings varies. As long as you’re putting your best foot forward, giving it 100 percent, that’s really all that matters. If things don’t work out, at least you can walk away saying you were the best significant other you could possibly be.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” How can you ever really know if it was meant to be? Do you wait for a sign? We are all on that quest for “The one”. The person who is our better half and who we can see a future with. What if that person has been there all along and you have no idea? You never really know, you just have to go with the flow and trust your instincts.
Love is tricky. You make yourself vulnerable, allowing someone to have a part of you that’s sacred, physically and emotionally. It’s not always easy committing to someone because of that apprehension, that fear of getting hurt again, the thought of starting all over with someone new. But when you do give it a chance, allow someone in, it can be one of the best feelings in the world. Love is a gamble, a chance you take, but having someone to confide in, build with, and create memories with can make it all worthwhile.
One of the most important things to remember is to never lose yourself. Never forget who you were before you were with that person, never conform to their standards just to make them happy, and never settle for less than what you deserve. Know your worth. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. How can someone fully appreciate you, if you cannot see the beauty that lies within?
Change is inevitable. People change such as the seasons do and both you and your partner will grow and evolve together. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. People grow apart and some grow closer as time passes, that’s life. Just don’t lose sight of you, your goals, and your dreams to be with that one person.
Compromise-the magic word. People are individuals and you are not always going to see eye to eye with the person you are with. Relationships are meant to be a partnership, not a dictatorship and communication is key. Try to see what the person is saying from their perspective, would you be upset if you’re significant other said that to you? Would you have reacted the same way they did? Pick and choose your battles. It’s not always worth the fight and winning an argument shouldn’t mean the end of a relationship.
Pride gets in the way of so many things. It will keep you from expressing how you truly feel about someone, until it is too late and someone else has already taken your place. It will keep you from admitting fault, even if you know you’re the one in the wrong. It can even make you lose someone because you weren’t willing to make that compromise, or be the bigger person. Pride costs nothing but it CAN cost you everything. Don’t let it.
That four letter word called love. Something so simplistic yet complex. An oxymoron within itself. Yet something we’ve come to understand as a necessity. There is no right or wrong way to love. Support one another, compromise, and put your pride aside. Make it your mission to make each other happy without losing sight of yourselves as individuals.

LOVE

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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Perception

Perception is everything.
The way you perceive the world around you is completely different from the next. Why is that first impressions are everything? How can you judge someone solely on the first few minutes you’ve spent with them?
Perception.
The reason some people view the world in black and white, and some in color. It always amazes me when I speak with different people and I hear their views on things. Being an open minded individual means staying true to your beliefs, but being open to hearing other people’s perspectives. That doesn’t mean changing who you are, or even agreeing with them. It just means being able to have intriguing conversations and intellectual debates. It also doesn’t mean that you must always touch on the subject. I think sometimes people forget that. They think if someone doesn’t have the same mindset, same values, they must argue their defense and try and force the other person to feel the same way. If there’s one thing I’ve learned is that ignorance is all around us, and we as human beings are all ignorant on one level or another. Controversial topics and subjects that hit close to home are always going to yield conflicting opinions. It’s not always worth the debate and often times it will leave you feeling more upset than anything. Perception.
Nature vs. Nurture. Do we truly have the power to change who we are based on our surroundings? Our experiences? Or do we already posses all the qualities we are meant to have the minute we are born? I think both play a part. You are who, and what you surround yourself with. Your friends, family, and the people that surround you everyday at work or school, all affect you.
Perception.
Optimism vs. Pessimism. Is the glass half empty or half full? Does every year just bring you closer to death or are you celebrating another year of life? Was it a bad experience or lesson learned?
Perception.
The difference between he said, she said, and the truth. What separates different kinds of artists and how they portray their talent to the world. What differentiates the dreamers and the go getters. The procrastinators from the hard workers.
Perception can alter the facts. Let a murderer walk free. Let an abuser continue to victimize. Let a child be placed in the care of the incompetent.
Perception can turn turn a joke into a cruel statement, or a tragic experience into a blessing. Turn someone from a friend to a foe, or a best friend into a lover.
Perception in a way is flawed logic, and to each its own. How you perceive yourself is how others will perceive you. Only you have the power to change your views, broaden your horizons and live life the way you choose to.
What’s your perception?

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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Missing Piece

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, searching for an answer. Looking up at the clock, she sighs. She is definitely going to be late if she doesn’t leave in the next 30 mins. In the shower she can’t help but feel that gnawing sensation, like a heavy weight on her shoulders. It’s been eating at her for the past 2 weeks and making her feel as though she’s going insane. Slipping into her white evening gown she thinks about her speech once more. Having rewrote and practiced it so many times, she could practically recite it in her sleep. That’s if she’d actually been able to get any. The past few nights consisted of cold sweats and staring at the ceiling for hours on end. She chalked it up to nerves but deep down she knew it had to be something more. Taking a deep breath, she puts the finishing touches on her hair thinking aloud to herself, “Stay positive, this is your night.” Grabbing her keys and wristlet, she is about to head out the door when something stops her.
That gnawing feeling returns and she yells “Please, just leave me alone!” Her voice resonates through the walls of the empty house. Taking a step towards the front door, she notices something flicker from the corner of her eye. She gasps as the very thing she’d been hoping to avoid all night appears before her.
“You won’t get rid of me that easily, but you knew that already.” A sinister smile forms on the pale shimmering figure of a woman bearing a striking resemblance. Ava takes a step back as tears begin to roll down her cheeks. She shuts her eyes and she reopens them to find the ghostly figure has vanished.
In the limo she uses all willpower to try and focus on her speech, and is relieved when the limo finally pulls up to the venue. Ava forces a smile as she stops for photos and people congratulate her. Sneaking a glance at her phone, she breathes a sigh of relief. 15 minutes to spare before she must go on stage in front of thousands of people. That also meant she had 15 minutes to get her bearings and look as though she had not just seen a ghost.
Making her way to the bathroom, she bumps into her manager. “Ava you’ve got to be on stage soon, where are you going?” So much for trying to be discreet, she thinks. “I just need to make a quick phone call.” Before Ashley could try and talk her out of it, she makes a beeline for the door marked ‘Ladies Room’, grateful that’s it vacant. She gazes in the mirror and stifles a scream. The ghostly woman stands behind her.
Ava’s fear slowly turns to anger, enough was enough. “What do you want from me?” Meant to sound bitter and harsh, it comes out as barely a whisper. “I’m here to show you what you’ve been missing”, the woman responds. Everything goes dark and Ava is being transported through a different space and time. Trying to catch her breath, she looks around to see she is now in a hospital room staring at a woman holding two twin newborn girls. The woman is telling the doctor the names she’d like to have put on the birth certificate- Ava and Nevaeh.
The ground shifts and she is once again transported. Familiarity surrounds her as Ava is now in the house she grew up in. She can hear her parents voices solemnly speaking in the living room. She catches bits and pieces as she gets closer until she can hear the words clear as day, “Why did she have to die? Why couldn’t I be playing with both my baby girls right now?” She sobs into her husbands shoulder.
Ava is transported once more and she finds herself in a field filled with daisies. Confusion, sadness and millions of thoughts fill her. “My whole life, I’ve always felt like something was missing and I could never figure out what or why.” She turns to her twin. “Why now? I mean why present yourself at this point in my life when everything is going so well?” Nevaeh stares straight ahead but her expression remains passive. “It’s time for me to move on, I’ve been stuck in this in-between place for 25 years. There was this overwhelming desire to stay connected to you, see you grow up and accomplish your dreams. Now I can go in peace knowing you’ll be ok, but I couldn’t go without letting you know who I am. I’m so proud of you. And don’t be angry at mom and dad, they just wanted to protect you. You’ll continue to do great, I know you will. I love you sis.” Ava turns to speak but Nevaeh is no longer there.
She looks around to see that she is back in the restroom. She takes a deep breath and it’s as though the heavy weight on her shoulders has been lifted. She smiles as she takes one last look in the mirror. She no longer needs the speech she’s spent months trying to prepare, trying to find the right words to describe the puzzle that has become her life, she now has all the inspiration she needs to speak from the heart.
She has found the missing piece.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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