Tag: path

Mother’s Day 2018

They say that time heals all…
So why is it that after every turn I hit a brick wall?
Every time that I’m about to reach the finish line I stall…
Because how can I possibly walk when I can barely crawl?
The more time that passes the more I feel like I’m going to explode
The more I think of your memories, the bigger the burden, the heavier the load.
The more and more I wish I could hug you everyday and tell you how much I love you so.
The more I wish I could run away…as long as I have you by my side I’m good to go.
So many questions unasked, so many things left unsaid
I miss you so much it hurts, I’d almost rather be dead.
A heart bigger than anyone I know-
I couldn’t understand it then, but now more than ever, I see your legacy continues to grow
But see the older I get the more I feel that I’ve reached an all time low
I’ve had people tell me to “Get over it.”- but they’ve never had a parent leave at 12 years old to protect them… so what the _____ do they know?
I’ve thought so many times about what I’d say if I ever saw you again,
And I feel if I never get the opportunity to- my heart may never be able to mend.
The root of who I am is you
And I think that from the moment you pushed me out- you realized it too.
So many milestones I wished we could’ve shared
Some impossible to celebrate because I just couldn’t bear
I remember my 13th birthday like it was yesterday… man life just ain’t fair.
I question if I can ever again be whole
How can I ever really be myself if I can’t even play the role?
I want more than anything to be at peace,
And for you to know that my love and admiration for you will never cease.
I will never stop searching for you until the day we reunite
Because whether it’s on earth or in heaven I won’t give up without a fight.
Mon coeur,
Mon âme,
Mon amour,
Until we meet again I just want to say,
Je t’aime maman and Happy Mother’s Day
Forever in my heart and in my prayers will you stay.

Copyright 2018 Christiana Parisien

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Destiny

Pain changes people. For better or worse, it changes people. Every experience in life is a lesson learned and you grow from that experience. You learn what not to do or what you should do next time. You become stronger in your faith or you lose some of your faith. Pain makes you think, makes you wonder, causes you to make decisions, take actions you might regret. Pain is everything in life and nothing in life. It is inevitable that you will face pain in your life, mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. It can take over you, consume you, and either break you down or make you stronger. Or both. Some say we have control over our destiny. That decisions we make will impact our future. True to some extent, even if I wasn’t a believer in God I would have to disagree. Because as human beings, we are imperfect, we are all ignorant on some level, we continue to mature and grow until the day we die. Therefore how can we be in control of our destiny when we make bad decisions, we make mistakes, and we have no idea what the future holds? What opportunities we will miss and which ones we shouldn’t have taken? How can we determine our destiny when we don’t even know what that destiny is?

Copyright 2014 Christiana Parisien

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