Tag: relationships

Mother’s Day 2018

They say that time heals all…
So why is it that after every turn I hit a brick wall?
Every time that I’m about to reach the finish line I stall…
Because how can I possibly walk when I can barely crawl?
The more time that passes the more I feel like I’m going to explode
The more I think of your memories, the bigger the burden, the heavier the load.
The more and more I wish I could hug you everyday and tell you how much I love you so.
The more I wish I could run away…as long as I have you by my side I’m good to go.
So many questions unasked, so many things left unsaid
I miss you so much it hurts, I’d almost rather be dead.
A heart bigger than anyone I know-
I couldn’t understand it then, but now more than ever, I see your legacy continues to grow
But see the older I get the more I feel that I’ve reached an all time low
I’ve had people tell me to “Get over it.”- but they’ve never had a parent leave at 12 years old to protect them… so what the _____ do they know?
I’ve thought so many times about what I’d say if I ever saw you again,
And I feel if I never get the opportunity to- my heart may never be able to mend.
The root of who I am is you
And I think that from the moment you pushed me out- you realized it too.
So many milestones I wished we could’ve shared
Some impossible to celebrate because I just couldn’t bear
I remember my 13th birthday like it was yesterday… man life just ain’t fair.
I question if I can ever again be whole
How can I ever really be myself if I can’t even play the role?
I want more than anything to be at peace,
And for you to know that my love and admiration for you will never cease.
I will never stop searching for you until the day we reunite
Because whether it’s on earth or in heaven I won’t give up without a fight.
Mon coeur,
Mon âme,
Mon amour,
Until we meet again I just want to say,
Je t’aime maman and Happy Mother’s Day
Forever in my heart and in my prayers will you stay.

Copyright 2018 Christiana Parisien

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Life’s Lessons

Why give up on your dreams? No one successful has ever made it to the top without hearing a hundred no’s along the way.

Why listen to those who say you can’t, when only YOU have the power to set the bar?

Nothing in life comes easy, yet people seem to want all the reward without putting forth any of the effort. The idea that things will fall into your lap, is just that- an idea. The idea of waiting for the right time is just a fantasy. There is never really going to be a right time for anything. The time will be right when you finally decide to make your move. You have to go out and get the things you want or you’ll be waiting forever for it to happen.

Nothing great comes to fruition without dedication and effort. People spend more time and effort planning a wedding than they do in their actual marriage. So many people are in love with the idea of marriage without realizing what it actually entails. Relationships are a full time job, regardless of how far along you are with that person. Once you pass the honeymoon stage, reality sets in and it’s no longer about how much you like or love the person, but the amount of work you are willing to put in. It’s so simple to give up, to walk away. You move on to the next person and the cycle continues. Fictitious books and movies have led people to look for a fairytale. A happy ending. No relationship will ever be perfect and neither will any individual. If you give up at the first sign of trouble that person is not meant for you. Because if you want something bad enough you’ll do anything to keep it, and if you love someone deep enough you’ll do anything not to lose them. Anything worth fighting over, is worth fighting for.

Destiny cannot be foreseen, but you do have the ability to control the now. So why give up?

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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Lost Chronicles

It’s so easy to get lost in this world. To be consumed by the material things and to let life’s troubles eat you alive. To lose yourself because you feel as though you’ve given so much to one person, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be yourself. Love is unrequited. It’s patient, kind, doesn’t boast and it isn’t proud. It’s everything in this world and without it we would have nothing.

Love begins with family, the love from our parents, our siblings, aunts, cousins and even those who we’ve come to accept as family. That is the foundation for how we see ourselves and how we learn to love other people. With each relationship that transpires we learn lessons, but we also bring baggage, hurt, a newfound understanding of the person we want to be with. It’s not always easy to forget the past. To forget the hurt, or the infidelities or things we’ve done. We get defensive and closed off. Not wanting to love fully. Not wanting to open up to one person fully. For fear of being hurt or taken advantage of. Hurting them before they can hurt you. Leaving them before they have the chance to leave you. Self sabotaging so that you expedite “the inevitable”. Because YOU are the most important person to you, so you have to look out for yourself because no one’s got you like you got you…right?

Or are you just creating self fulfilling prophecies? Are you just overthinking and creating scenarios that don’t really exist? Are you missing out on what could be something amazing, maybe the best you’ve ever experienced, because you’re scared? Afraid to love again, to trust again, to be happy again. To work hard and fight instead of taking the easy route. Leaving is easy, staying is the hard part.

You can get lost without you even realizing it and it’s so simple to just accept it, to let it happen and continue down the rabbit hole. Finding your way back is a roller coaster ride, a maze that seems to never end. But once you’ve looked deep inside yourself, you see a true reflection of your soul. You see things more clearly and learn that you are not perfect, and learn to accept all your flaws. Take every experience as a lesson and a piece to the puzzle. Learn that everyone will lose who they are, before finding out who they are truly meant to be. And each time you come back a much stronger, wiser and even better version of yourself.

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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That 4 Letter Word

When I fall, I fall hard, and I love even harder…

Love is simple and complicated all in the same respect. It’s so simple to fall for someone. Falling in love is the easy part, everything else that surrounds that is what becomes complicated. Falling for someone who may not feel the same or is emotionally unavailable, is what makes it difficult. When the honeymoon stage starts to pass and the bliss has died down, that’s what makes it hard. You start to see the person for who they truly are, flaws and all. Start to recognize each other’s differences. Relationships are a full time job, you invest your time, feelings and even money into someone else, in hopes that in the end it will have been well spent. The issue lies when loyalty comes into question, when people commit to someone before they’re ready, when people rather give up than make their relationship work. Falling in love is easy, working it out is the challenge.
Relationships shouldn’t be 50/50, because they don’t hold a numerical value. Everyone loves differently and how they express their feelings varies. As long as you’re putting your best foot forward, giving it 100 percent, that’s really all that matters. If things don’t work out, at least you can walk away saying you were the best significant other you could possibly be.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” How can you ever really know if it was meant to be? Do you wait for a sign? We are all on that quest for “The one”. The person who is our better half and who we can see a future with. What if that person has been there all along and you have no idea? You never really know, you just have to go with the flow and trust your instincts.
Love is tricky. You make yourself vulnerable, allowing someone to have a part of you that’s sacred, physically and emotionally. It’s not always easy committing to someone because of that apprehension, that fear of getting hurt again, the thought of starting all over with someone new. But when you do give it a chance, allow someone in, it can be one of the best feelings in the world. Love is a gamble, a chance you take, but having someone to confide in, build with, and create memories with can make it all worthwhile.
One of the most important things to remember is to never lose yourself. Never forget who you were before you were with that person, never conform to their standards just to make them happy, and never settle for less than what you deserve. Know your worth. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. How can someone fully appreciate you, if you cannot see the beauty that lies within?
Change is inevitable. People change such as the seasons do and both you and your partner will grow and evolve together. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. People grow apart and some grow closer as time passes, that’s life. Just don’t lose sight of you, your goals, and your dreams to be with that one person.
Compromise-the magic word. People are individuals and you are not always going to see eye to eye with the person you are with. Relationships are meant to be a partnership, not a dictatorship and communication is key. Try to see what the person is saying from their perspective, would you be upset if you’re significant other said that to you? Would you have reacted the same way they did? Pick and choose your battles. It’s not always worth the fight and winning an argument shouldn’t mean the end of a relationship.
Pride gets in the way of so many things. It will keep you from expressing how you truly feel about someone, until it is too late and someone else has already taken your place. It will keep you from admitting fault, even if you know you’re the one in the wrong. It can even make you lose someone because you weren’t willing to make that compromise, or be the bigger person. Pride costs nothing but it CAN cost you everything. Don’t let it.
That four letter word called love. Something so simplistic yet complex. An oxymoron within itself. Yet something we’ve come to understand as a necessity. There is no right or wrong way to love. Support one another, compromise, and put your pride aside. Make it your mission to make each other happy without losing sight of yourselves as individuals.

LOVE

Copyright 2015 Christiana Parisien

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